Thank you. Thank You. THANK YOU!!
To everyone who has reached out via FB, the blog, e-mail, phone or text. Thank you. Thank you for every single encouraging word. Thank you for your support and love.
Most of all thank you for your prayers. I have felt them all. It wasn't long after I posted yesterday, that before even reading any comments, I felt God wrapping His arms around me and such comfort.
Words are not adequate to describe how grateful I am for every single one of you who have read and responded in some way. I truly have the best family and friends... and strangers!!! :-)
There really is no update. Nothing has started yet. We just wait. If nothing happens by mid to end of next week, I'll be talking to my OB.
I'm so thankful to not be in limbo about what is going on. Even though I had some joy and hope during these last two weeks, it was never without caution. I'm glad I don't have to wonder what's going to happen anymore. Even though we still have some waiting to do and I dread everything coming, we know what's going to happen, and that takes away all of the stress of the last two weeks.
I'm still all over the place. I'm numb. Heartbroken. Sad. Confused. Depressed. Helpless. Guilt-ridden. Weak. So very weak. I still have moments when I have to gasp for air. I feel like there is a hole in my heart.
I wish I could say I had total peace. That I know why this is happening and it's all for such a great reason that everything's all better. But I can't. I can't say those things.
But I know I will find peace. And I may never know why, and it doesn't matter. I just pray that somehow in all of this God will be glorified. That Satan will not win. I will not believe the lies he puts in my head, and even if this never makes sense, I KNOW God has a good and perfect plan for me.
And for that I'm thankful. And I can rejoice.
I missed posting yesterday but you were in my comforting and healing thoughts. I can only imagine the range of emotion you are still feeling and have yet to feel in the coming days and weeks.
ReplyDeleteBe kind to yourself.
Oh Rebecca, my heart is aching for you. I remember well the loss, confusion, grief and helplessness I felt in a somewhat similar situation. The only solace I found was in the words of a song..."He knows my name, He knows my every thought, He sees each tear that falls and He hears me when I call."
ReplyDelete{{{hugs and prayers}}}