Today has been bad. Horribly depressing. If I didn't have my boys, I probably wouldn't have gotten out of bed.
I was going to force myself to go to a play date today, moreso for myself than my kids, but Levi's schedule was all messed up, so we didn't make it.
Until three weeks ago tomorrow I had such peace about never being pregnant again. Not being able to carry a baby. Not knowing whether or not we'd add to our family. Such peace.
Not anymore. I'm a mess. And just depressed. When I'm not crying, I'm choking the tears back. I never dreamed I'd be back in this deep dark place again.
I go for a blood test tomorrow to make sure my hormone levels are back to square one. I want them to be so this is finally over.. but that means.. well, it's over. Not that I need to hold on... or want to. Wouldn't change anything.
I hate this.
(((((HUGS)))))
ReplyDeleteStill praying, Sweetheart. I'll offer no advice, but I will pray.
ReplyDeletePraying for you!
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ReplyDeleteSorry, technical difficulties. Reposted my comment below.
DeleteBeen thinking about you and praying for you almost constantly. Wish we were close enough that we could get together and do something fun or hang out and cry together or whatever - probably both! Please know that we love you and are here for you if there is anything we can do. Wish I could give you real hugs, but virtual ones will have to do for now *HUGS*. Feel free to call, text, email, IM, or FB me anytime if you want to chat. Love you.
ReplyDeleteI am sorry that this has been such a rough time. Hoping for healing and happier days ahead.
ReplyDeleteStill praying for you, my sweet friend. I hate you are dealing with this loss and pain.
ReplyDeleteYou've been heavy on my heart the last few days. Just know that I am praying for you. Love ya
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