Six weeks. Four babies. Four closed doors.
Just days after we officially began waiting to be matched with a baby, we received a call!! So exciting! We immediately decided to pursue this baby. However, it wasn’t long before the hiccups began. On several occasions, things that needed to happen in order for this expectant mother to choose a family for her baby simply didn’t. We waited and waited. And we just learned yesterday that although we, along with a few other families, were presented to this woman, at this time she has decided not to place through the attorney who we have been working with.
Luke and I have also been presented with three situations, that for reasons I simply cannot explain on such a public blog, we had to turn down for various reasons. One was in March and two were yesterday… within hours of learning this baby we’ve been pursuing for weeks wouldn’t be our baby.
Since the beginning I have rested in the knowledge that God’s will WILL prevail. God knows the baby who will join our family. He knows his/her name, the place, the time, the birth mother and all that must happen in order for us to bring our baby home. He knows because He is the one orchestrating all the details. No situation or circumstance will keep us from bringing home the baby God intends to be ours.
But then yesterday happened. Within a matter of hours I was excited, hopeful, nauseous and sad. My knowledge was being tested. Do I actually wholeheartedly believe what I know to be true?
So I cried. And I read the Word. And I prayed. And then I was content. I had peace. Yes, I do believe what I know is absolutely true. I always believed it. I never doubted that God wasn’t in full control. I was just sad that none of these babies would be our baby. That it just wasn’t yet time. Believing in and trusting God doesn’t mean that there won’t be disappointments along the way. Adoption, like so many things in life, is not an easy journey. It’s hard.
But God hasn’t forgotten me. He’s not only with me but paving the way! And sometimes He does need to remind me that He is in control. I am not. His timing is perfect. Mine is not. Yesterday, I needed that moment of weakness so that I could be reminded of His strength. His plan. His purpose.
And so we keep waiting. And keep praying. And rest knowing He is in full control and that His will will indeed prevail.
Praying with you.
ReplyDeleteVery well said, Bec. We have to be reminded often that GOD IS IN CONTROL and HIS timing is the best timing. We often do forget that. At least, I know I do. Thanks for reminding me of that and my heart goes out to you as you wait on HIS timing, not knowing what that will be. FAITH is so hard! But, it sounds like you are truly growing during this process, which I think is part of His plan. He grows us and molds us during these painful times! Love you lots! Continue keeping us posted. Hugs!
ReplyDelete(It's Lisa Jensen-Stevenson)
ReplyDeleteI know you are going through a very difficult time right now. How do you know when the right baby will come along who will be yours? Will a mother pick you and then back out at the last moment leaving you to feel as though you physically had a miscarriage? It's so scary. I know because my nephew is adopted and we went though all of that. The joys of finding a baby only for it to fall through. Once they had found a mom and we were waiting on baby Eli's arrival. A week before he was born, due to certain things happening, we found out Eli wouldn't be ours. There everyone was, with an empty nursery and no baby. We were all devistated. But God wasn't done. He was just getting started. It seemed like a matter of days before the life mom came into the picture. Shortly after, baby Aidan was in our arms. We couldn't have been more in love.
If you ask my mom, she will tell you that Aidan has his father's (my BIL) eyes. And he is genetically predispositioned to like music (which he got from me). His kind heart also came from his mother (my sister). Ocasionally we have to be reminded that he doesn't get any genetic predispositions from us.
Once someone asked us if we were going to tell him he was adopted. I'm sure my bil and sister discussed this, but it would be a rather pointless discussion. I think he'll figure that out on his own since he's black. But in the end, we always remind people that it doesn't matter if he's adopted. What matters is that he's loved. I know for a fact that God couldn't have found us a better Aidan. He is too perfect to not be ours. I'm not so sure it's God's timing He's waiting on. He's waiting for His precious angel to be born...the one He has picked out for you. He would never just give you any one of His angels. He hand picked one for you.
Beautifully written, Becca. Praying with you and for you all as you wait.
ReplyDeleteI am so thankful that our God can't be manipulated by our own schemes. However, that doesn't make waiting on his plan any easier. It was so intelligent of you to plug back into the word. You need your defenses. The enemy doesn't need to make us do bad things, he just needs to make us busy, frazzled and depressed.
ReplyDeleteThat perfect timing is so hard to understand, but oh the glory when you understand the path. The rechabites were ordered to be nomads (live in tents) and not have a vineyard and to never drink wine. They followed the command perfectly for 200 years.. Blind faith. Because of that command, they were able to flee jerusalem when the babylonians invaded to take daniel, meshack, shadrack and abednego. A whole generation was saved. The fruit that grows during the wait is hard understand but so sweet. Stay strong, friend!